My (fantasy) Guest Appearance on Oprah

Oprah: Congratulations, Peggy, on your 30th wedding anniversary!

Me: Thank you so much Oprah. I'm honored to be on your show.

Oprah: How did you and Tim meet?

Me: It was in Houston. We both lived in the same apartment complex and we met by the pool.

Oprah: How did you get him to notice you?

Me: I didn't want to be too obvious. I started swimming laps and after 12 laps he still hadn't noticed me. Then I did 2 swan dives off the board. Nothing. I was getting tired. So I hopped on the edge of the pool and sat next to him. I introduced myself. We talked for a while. He asked me out that night.

Oprah: That sounds like an intuitive meeting of two soul mates. You must have felt validated. (audience is clapping; Oprah is nodding her head)

Me: Yes, we were obviously a perfect match. I always try to make positive and life affirming choices. I steer away from toxic relationships. (a tear rolls down my cheek)

Oprah: Tell the audience the secret for a long and happy marriage.

Me: Sure, that's easy. Put the cap back on the toothpaste. Hang up wet towels. Dance crazy at every opportunity.

Oprah: Wow, very thought provoking advice, Peggy. Thank you for appearing on my show.

April 8, 1978