My (fantasy) Guest Appearance on Dr. Phil

Setting: stage of the Dr. Phil show. The topic is relationships between sisters.

Dr. Phil: Today's guest is Peggy. She has agreed to be on our show and discuss her relationship with her sister. Peggy, thanks for being with us today.

Me: Thank you, Dr. Phil. I'm honored to be here. I recently made an appearance on Oprah. I really dig this talk show circuit.

Dr. Phil: Oprah is small potatoes compared to me. You've hit the big time now. Tell me, Peggy, have you always had a good relationship with your sister?

Me: Oh yes, we've always been close. Sure, we've had our sibling spats while growing up, but we've always been best friends as well as sisters.

Dr. Phil: Tell us more about the spats.

Me: Well, my sister has naturally curly hair and mine is as straight as a board. I always envied her curls. One time I couldn't find my jumbo pink foam curlers. I later discovered they had been hidden in the attic. I knew she was the culprit.

Dr. Phil: In the attic? That's a strange place to hide curlers. Anything else?

Me: Yes. My sister and I shared a small bedroom when we were growing up. She told me that there was an invisible line drawn down the middle of the room separating my space and her space. She warned me that if I ever crossed that line into her space that I would be in big trouble.

Dr. Phil: Did you ever cross the invisible line?

Me: I'm afraid so. I start to tremble. I crossed over the line one time when she wasn't home. A few seconds later the sky became dark, a huge thunderstorm broke out and a lightning bolt struck the bedroom window. The audience is gasping, Dr. Phil looks stunned.

Dr. Phil: Wow! Peggy, it sounds like your sister has an electrifying personality.

Me: Indeed she does. She lights up the room every time she walks in.

Dr. Phil: Is there anything you would like to say to your sister right now?

Me: Yes. Chris, you are the best of both - sister and friend. Happy Birthday!

The audience is standing and cheering. Confetti and balloons are dropping from the ceiling. Dr. Phil is nodding his head in affirmation.